Coping With Miscarriage at Home - What to Do When the Unimaginable Happens

The pain and trauma of suffering a miscarriage, which is the unplanned loss of pregnancy before the 20th week, is something no expecting parent is ever prepared for. Despite how common they are, with estimates that around 10-20% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage, the devastation of having your hopes and dreams for a baby stripped away so abruptly is unimaginable until you've lived through it.

When a miscarriage occurs unexpectedly at home away from medical care, the physical and emotional tolls can feel utterly overwhelming to manage on your own. But with the right guidance and self-care practices, you can get through one of life's most gut-wrenching experiences in a healthier manner.

Recognizing the Signs of Miscarriage

Since many early pregnancy losses occur before a woman even realizes she's pregnant, some degree of bleeding can be deceptive. However, if you've already had a positive pregnancy test or ultrasound confirming your pregnancy status, there are some more definitive warning signs of an impending miscarriage:

• Cramping abdominal pain that becomes persistent and severe
• Bleeding that progresses from light to extremely heavy/abnormal
• Passing large blood clots or grayish tissue from the vagina
• Contractions that cause a dull or intense ache in your lower back
• Lack of pregnancy symptoms you had been experiencing, such as nausea or vomiting

If you begin experiencing these types of symptoms at home, it's imperative that you contact your OB/GYN or midwife immediately for an evaluation. Prepare yourself that you'll likely need to go to the emergency room or be admitted for monitoring and care.

What to Do During a Miscarriage at Home

If the physical miscarriage begins at home before you can get to a clinic or hospital, remain as calm as possible and follow these steps:

1. Get in a bathroom or somewhere comfortable where you can easily access a shower or be near a toilet as you expel the pregnancy tissues and products. The bleeding and cramping may quickly intensify.
2. Apply pads or adult diapers to manage the blood flow, not tampons which could cause complications. Keep hand towels and extra pads within reach as you'll likely go through them rapidly.
3. If you pass any larger objects or clots, try to collect them in a sealable container or plastic bag. Your doctor may want to examine these products to confirm the miscarriage occurred.
4. For severe cramping and pain, take your prescribed medication or an over-the-counter pain reliever like ibuprofen. Placing a hot water bottle or heating pad on your lower abdomen can also help ease contractions.
5. Stay hydrated by drinking ample fluids like water, broths or electrolyte drinks. Your body is undergoing a physically taxing process.
6. Have your partner or a loved one on call to drive you to the hospital if bleeding becomes excessive or you feel faint/feverish. Don't try to tough out concerning symptoms alone.

After the Miscarriage Occurs

Once the miscarriage runs its full course, which may last for several hours of bleeding, it's time to focus on both your physical healing process as well as the equally important emotional/mental recovery:

Physical Aftercare

• You'll likely experience bleeding and spotting like a heavy menstrual period for 1-2 weeks post-miscarriage. Use pads and avoid tampons.
• Take your prescribed medication or ibuprofen continually to manage residual cramping and pain. Don't hesitate to ask your doctor about stronger medication if discomfort persists.
• Avoid any strenuous activity and get plenty of rest. Don't resume exercise or lift anything heavy until cleared by your physician. Your body needs time to heal.
• Increase your iron and vitamin C intake to help replenish depleted blood levels and nutrients. Eat healthy foods to rebuild your strength.
• Don't have penetrative sex or use tampons for 1-2 weeks to prevent infection while the cervix is still dilated and healing.
• Watch carefully for any signs of complications like excessive bleeding soaking more than one pad per hour, fever over 101F, foul-smelling discharge or severe dizziness. These may require emergency care.

Emotional & Mental Care

• Allow yourself to fully grieve and process the profound loss you've endured. Cry, scream into a pillow, reach out to supportive loved ones - however you need to release that anguish.
• Be patient with your emotions. Waves of sadness may wash over you unexpectedly. Give yourself the time and space to ride them out.
• Talk to your partner openly about how you're both feeling and what you need. Pain can isolate you if you let it. Strength comes in sharing your vulnerability.
• Join online miscarriage support groups, read others' stories, or seek counseling if you can't seem to move past feelings of guilt, shame or depression. Getting external emotional support is crucial.
• Look into honoring rituals or memorial ideas to find personal closure and give reverence for that pregnancy and baby you so wanted but will never meet. Planting a tree or garden is one symbolic outlet.
• When the time feels right, openly discussing your desire to try conceiving again so loved ones can be a compassionate circle of encouragement for you.

Getting Through the Pain of Pregnancy Loss

Miscarriage is a special kind of trauma that goes against the natural order of things. Losing a longed-for baby you started creating so many hopes, dreams and plans around leaves a void and heartache unrelenting. That lost potential for life can feel devastating.

However, miscarriage is also sadly far more common than society's taboo surrounding it acknowledges. No matter how isolating it may feel in those dark initial days, remember that you are part of a community of millions of women who have survived the same emotional gauntlet course.

By allowing yourself to feel the full emotional brunt of the loss rather than suppress it, physically taking care of your body's recovery needs, and reaching out for support systems or counseling if needed, the grief will eventually become more manageable over time. The light at the tunnel's end may appear impossibly dim in this initial aftermath, but little by little, you'll rediscover the strengths, courage and resilience to try again when the timing feels right.

In the rawness following a miscarriage, focus solely on mending your physical and emotional self. Resist any outside pressures or stigmas urging you to rush through the healing process. Embrace the swell of pain coursing through you - it is an homage to how deeply you already loved that little life. Hold fast to each other, take lifesaving steps forward one day at a time, and have faith that better days will return.